No Title

No title. Most Recent. My life.

Get it? It pertains to this post.

For those that don't... I recently came across a story of Hemingway that entirely revolutionized the opinions that I had for him. I used to not like his writing because it was so simple. He had no spice, no challenges. It was all simple, and for some reason I didn't like that. People like Faulkner, who you couldn't understand, excited me because you would have to really think to understand what he is saying. There is a sense of critical imagination with his writing. But with Hemingway... nothing.
Anyway I became so infatuated with Hemingway recently because of one single story that I heard from my SAT writing teacher at a studying class that I do every Saturday (I may have mentioned this in previous posts).
The story contained six words, "For Sale. Baby Shoes. Never Worn." Back when Hemingway was still a premature writer, there was a newspaper contest where the newspaper would publish one short story and help that writer get known to the public. There were thousands of long short stories (yes ironic I know), but Hemingway constructed this six word short story that told a whole story in six words. Only six words were necessary to tell a story, and Hemingway won the contest with his famous six word short story.
Okay, I was absolutely mind blown by this story. I was so amazed that instantly, I found a new respect for Hemingway. I don't know why, but I thought it was genius. This is my favorite short story because it made a huge impression on me. I never even thought this would be possible... It was perfect.

Okay now for the part that actually relates to this post.
Honestly, I really haven't getting anywhere in my life right now. I promise myself that I would do somethings with Art, Music, Studies, and Working out. I've been getting lazy lately and I really hate it. But I feel like there is nothing I can do about it. Its just that I want to do it, but I never do. Solutions? anyone? I really need to figure myself out. This summer wasn't as productive as I planned it out to be. Shenron? My wish? Make me productive.

I Don't Care About My Future

I think one of the things that I'm starting to have less belief in as the belief pounds my head every passing moment is predestined futures. To religious folks I know this can be a controversial topic. Let me assure you that I do believe in God, but I'm very minimalist about it. I like the bible its cool, and I think there is a God up there. The one I believe in happens to be the one and only Father, but then again if I were born into a Jewish or Islamic family then that would be different. That's basically the extent to my belief because simply I hate religion. If our past believers were so content on impressing God then why did they have to go and senselessly start all those wars like the Crusades for example. I get the whole concept of spreading religion, but I don't see anywhere in the bible that says "Jesus, the Messiah, told me to convert all the men of the world, and if they don't obey then I am obligated to KILL THEM ALL!" So that's my main reason. And there are also those those sick preachers that tell you something is the devil, and you have to agree to stop doing it or else you are unholy or sinful. That kind of believing doesn't make sense to me.

Anyway, the whole idea of a predestined future troubles me in the fact that regardless of what you do, its going to happen. So if someone says you are going to end up as a doctor that saves people then its going to happen? That means you can live like crap and still be a doctor. I don't understand it. Ultimately its up to you on what you do with you're life. It's not like God is going to possess you and make you work hard to be a doctor. But on the contrary, if you work towards being a doctor then isn't that not considered predestined because you worked towards it? I don't get it.

Now for the personal touch to this whole post.
I guess my mom has high hopes for my future because she believes in this predestined stuff. Both my mom and my dad had a dream right before I was born, and they both dreamed about me doing some great deed except it was symbolized throughout the whole dream. If I remember correctly from what my mom told me, she had a dream where I got rid of a snake that was threatening her. A few years later, my dad's friend/mentor came to our house for whatever reason that he did, but he told my parents that I would have a big impact on the world. Then a few years ago, I went to church and this guy was preaching and he told the church that I would become a big impact on the world, specifically a doctor that saves lives. Frankly, I don't believe it. Sure it makes me feel good about myself because all these people are telling me what I'm going to do when I'm older, but I just don't think I'll end up there one day. I mean if I wanted to do that, then I would have to work hard right? I feel like if I worked for it, then it wouldn't be predestined.

Its like Old Spice.... but with Art

Its like that, but with my art. Its extremely hard to think with, in my case, a thick fog shrouding your mind from all the imaginative ideas all gathered in one spot in your brain. I really hate it. I think I can finally understand what writers feel when they sit in front of a computer, staring blankly at the screen not knowing how to elaborate on their one sentence plot.

At the start of my art filled journey, I was putting down pieces of creativity down on paper like it was second nature. Everyday a new design, figure, or subject popped into my head and with a little creativity, it became a masterpiece to me. I guess part of this can be due to the lack of influence... no, that's not the case because Alex Pardee and my imagination is enough for me. So I don't get it. Why can't I make something? It really makes me angry, not having ideas that you want to put on paper. Its like being a kid, getting a new toy car, and only knowing that that toy car can go forward on a surface. No imaginative flying engine, no drifting capability, no transforming, no indestructible body, no nothing. Just a straightforward, drive straight and that's it.

If anyone has the mathematical equation to getting ideas and searching the deepest parts of your brain, then please, I beg you to give it to me. I'm in need.